


a gift fit for a king

by misstaken



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Lots of Cats, Other, Romantic Gestures, Valentine's Day Fluff, You Have Been Warned, tomfoolery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17641061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misstaken/pseuds/misstaken
Summary: Soon after being summoned to Chaldea, Enkidu learns about Valentine’s Day and tackles an age-old problem: what do you get for a man who, thanks to the Treasury of Babylon, literally has everything?- or -A Sociological Study Of The Courtship Rituals Of Green-Haired Heroic Spirits(L. Da Vinci, first published February 2019)





	a gift fit for a king

**Author's Note:**

> Happy (Early) Valentine’s Day! I have no excuses for this tomfoolery, but I hope you enjoy it - I had fun writing it.
> 
> Spoilers for The Grand Temple of Time.

While the majority of Chaldea’s interior resembled its cold, sterile exterior, Da Vinci’s workshop was a notable exception. The walls that didn’t consist of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves were covered in dark wood and stained glass, giving the workshop a warm, inviting feeling. Enkidu wasn’t particularly studious, but they preferred this atmosphere to the rest of Chaldea and Da Vinci proved to be good company as well. Since Enkidu was summoned a short time ago, the researchers took a special interest in the living Noble Phantasm; once they were able to convince Gilgamesh that they simply wanted to study Enkidu, not replicate or disintegrate them, Enkidu willingly spent most of their spare time with Da Vinci in her workshop.

Da Vinci sat next to Enkidu, organizing her notes from the day’s research while Enkidu leafed through a random book on the table, looking at the pictures more than reading the contents. White noise filled the room, occasionally broken by the tap of Da Vinci’s stylus against her tablet. Her workshop was a good place to learn about this new world that they lived in, especially because quiet moments like this were few and far between.

“Professor Da Vinci~!” The door to the workshop burst open, startling Da Vinci enough to drop her stylus and shocking Enkidu into immediate defense mode. Da Vinci took a deep breath and pushed her glasses up on her nose while Enkidu tucked a chain or two back into their sleeve as Sanzang bounced through the door, a wicker basket in her arms that resembled the lid of the rice barrel Tawara Touta always carried.

“Can I help you, Xuanzang Sanzang?”

“Master told me you would know better than anyone else where to get cat food in Chaldea.” Enkidu heard something squeaking from her direction, and Sanzang grinned and proudly extended the basket towards them.

“...are those kittens?” Da Vinci asked, shaking her head slightly while smiling. “Oh, Romani. If you were only here to see this…you’d probably freak out over some sort of animal protocol.” There was a hint of sadness in her eyes when she mentioned his name, and she shook it away as quickly as it came on.

Enkidu stood, and Sanzang saluted. “I remember you - you’re King Gilgamesh’s friend!” Enkidu nodded, and Sanzang pursed her lips thoughtfully. “You were in the middle of something important, and I just carelessly wandered in, didn’t I?” Enkidu walked towards her and peered into the basket. “Don’t mind me, go back to what you were doing. I’ll see if there’s some leftover food from dinner in the dining hall. Touta says kittens can’t eat rice…kind of inconvenient, but look at how cute they are.”

“Where did you get kittens?” Enkidu peered at the mewling balls of fluff in the basket. “I haven’t seen a cat in Chaldea since I’ve been here.”

Sanzang realized that she had both Enkidu and Da Vinci’s attention, and set the basket down on one of the guest chairs. “Well, since you asked, I do love to tell a good story...”

\- - - -

Chaldea was rarely silent, but Sanzang’s Buddhist training allowed her to find quiet within herself via meditation. Since her summoning, Sanzang spent most of her time mingling with the other Servants and entertaining the staff with her stories. Even time spent with Touta was lively, especially once they acknowledged each other’s feelings and became a couple. Meditation was her only chance to recharge herself spiritually; fortunately, her circumstances during her life were similar, so it was effortless to slip back into a familiar routine.

“Oh crap, did I interrupt you?”

The familiar voice brought her out of her trance. Sanzang looked up, and Touta scratched his head sheepishly. “Sorry. Never was good at this kind of thing. My master tried to teach us about finding inner peace and stuff, and I always started thinking about what I was going to eat for the next meal as soon as everyone closed their eyes.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sanzang rose from the cushions on the floor and glanced out the small window. “It was early afternoon when I started, and it’s already almost evening.” Her stomach rumbled at the mention of food, and Touta smiled.

“You hungry or just happy to see me?” he teased. “Come here, Sanzang.”

Sanzang smacked him gently on his firm bicep. Her hand seemed so small whenever she compared it to his warrior’s physique - even Wukong wasn’t as sturdily built as Tawara Touta. “A disciple shouldn’t talk to his teacher so casually, Touta.” Despite her scolding tone, her hand remained on his arm, and Sanzang allowed Touta to pull her into a full embrace. He touched her lightly on the lips with his fingertip and leaned in to kiss her, something she never allowed during her life but enjoyed thoroughly as a Heroic Spirit. “You’re romantic today, in your own way,” she noted.

Touta puffed out his broad chest. “Hey, I pay attention sometimes. It’s Valentine’s Day. You know, all the Western Heroic Spirits are excited about it, and I heard you dropping hints the other day.”

Sanzang’s heart swelled; while Valentine’s Day was new to her since arriving at Chaldea, after learning of its significance she couldn’t deny her excitement that Touta knew of it and remembered the date. It almost broke her heart to inform him that Valentine’s Day wasn’t for three more days, but it was a teacher’s duty to correct her disciple - even if her disciple doubled as her boyfriend these days.

For a moment, Touta appeared dismayed, but shrugged and squeezed Sanzang tightly. “Whoops… but can’t blame a guy for trying, right? I got you a present, anyway. That’s what men do for their woman on Valentine’s Day, or so the guys tell me. We didn’t have it when I was alive, but I guess it’s pretty popular in modern Japan as well as the West.”

“You could wait until Valentine’s Day to give me the present,” Sanzang offered, though she was insanely curious about the gift and no amount of prayer and meditation could quell her interest. She knew enough of Valentine’s Day tradition from the other women to be aware of the common varieties of presents, and needed to know at a deep spiritual level why Valentine’s chocolate was so much different than chocolate eaten any other day of the year.

Touta shook his head, his green ponytail swinging back and forth vigorously. “It can’t really wait.” He released her from his embrace, taking her hand and leading her towards the entryway to their shared quarters. “Or, well, it’d be real hard to hide from you for three more days.”

“So it’s not chocolate…?” Sanzang murmured to herself. “Or it’s a lot of chocolate…?”

“Close your eyes,” Touta said, and Sanzang complied, covering her eyes with her hands. She heard a tiny cry and peeked through her fingers to see Touta holding a kitten in each of his hands, with a third tucked into his haori batting at the magatama and beads around his neck. She gasped, and Touta laughed. “Okay, you can look now. Guess the cat’s out of the bag,” he said, chuckling at his own joke.

“They’re adorable!” Sanzang squeaked, and plucked the orange and white kitten from Touta’s haori. It clung to his necklace with its paws, and swiped at the sash dangling over her shoulder. She kissed the small animal on the forehead and held it up to look it in the eyes. “You’re feisty,” she said, “And not scared of your teacher at all. I’ll call you Wukong,” she said to the kitten, and looked back at Touta as she cradled it against her chest. She wasn’t sure which of the other two would be Bajie and which would be Wujing, but there were no other names for them in her mind.

“I know you hate being lonely,” he said, “so I thought these guys could keep you company in case I’m not here.”

Sanzang bit her lip and transferred Wukong to the crook of her elbow so she could stand on her tiptoes and kiss Touta carefully without waking the two kittens sleeping in his arms. “Thank you,” she said, “I love them, but nobody can replace you, Touta.”

\- - - -

Deep in thought, Enkidu accompanied Sanzang to the common room, where the Chaldea staff cooed over Sanzang’s kittens while locating something appropriate for them to eat. The animals caused quite a ruckus, but it seemed to be a welcome turn of events.

Behind them, Enkidu heard low voices, and they closed their eyes for a moment. There were three Heroic spirits, all surrounded by threatening auras. Enkidu turned around to see Nitocris sitting at a table with Kiyohime and Elisabeth Bathory, the looks on their faces matching the energy emanating from them.

“I can’t believe that hooligan monk is walking around so casually with those kittens in a basket, as if she was a washer-woman with laundry to be done,” Nitocris muttered. “A dignified woman would treat cats with the respect they deserve, not like dirty clothes.”

“Where did she get them, anyway?” Elisabeth wondered aloud. “A kitten would look adorable with my Halloween outfit. Especially that black one with the white feet, although it would be better if it was all black, right? Not that I would help another idol, but since she’s technically also me...can you dye cat fur?”

Enkidu spoke up. “They were a Valentine’s Day present from her lover,” they explained, and upon seeing their reactions wished they hadn’t said anything in the first place. Elisabeth and Kiyohime’s eyes flared especially brightly, their bloodlust rivaling the stares of the demonic beasts Enkidu and Gilgamesh faced in the Cedar Forest.

“She only has a boyfriend because she wears those harlot clothes,” Kiyohime huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m sure a well-mannered human like Master appreciates a traditional Japanese beauty.”

Elisabeth set her jaw and assumed Kiyohime’s pose. “And those giant boobs,” she seethed, “Men are such pathetic creatures. All they care about is cleavage. Idols shouldn’t have bodies like AV stars.”

Enkidu blinked. “I take it you two don’t have lovers to give you Valentines?”

Kiyohime huffed and glared at Enkidu. “I don’t need Master to give me a Valentine. Our love is perfect just the way it is. Of course, if I did get a Valentine from Master, I would certainly show it off just like _that woman_ is doing.”

“I’d put pictures of it on all my social media sites,” Elisabeth sighed, “Idols aren’t supposed to have boyfriends, but what’s the point of getting presents from the people who love you if you don’t tell everyone else about them?”

Nitocris laughed. “When I was Pharaoh, the people brought me effigies of Bastet regularly. I was entombed with several of my favorite cats. Medjed watches over their spirits when they are not summoned to my aid in battle.”

The conversation was growing more bizarre by the minute and the tension was thick enough to stop an arrow in flight. Looking back over their shoulder, Enkidu noticed that Sanzang was heading towards the door, kittens in tow. It seemed as good of a time as any to make their departure, and Enkidu quickly excused themselves before any sort of bloodshed began.

Later that evening, Enkidu sat next to Gilgamesh in their bed, listening to the king snore lightly while thinking back to their days in Uruk. There was no Valentine’s Day while they were alive - every day was an occasion to show love for the king. At any rate, they were no longer in Uruk, and Da Vinci often emphasized the value of uncovering the wonders of the modern world and the nuances of the heart.

“Mmm,” Gilgamesh stirred and blinked groggily, “Go to sleep, Enkidu.”

“I don’t need to sleep,” Enkidu reminded Gilgamesh. “Neither do you, as a Heroic Spirit.”

“Do as you wish, but don’t sit there staring at me if you’re not going to sleep. C’mere.” Gilgamesh pulled Enkidu down against him, tucking his arm around Enkidu’s bare arms. This side of Gilgamesh was theirs alone, and Enkidu smiled as they rested their cheek against the purple sigil framing his shoulder. Gilgamesh closed his eyes, and Enkidu kissed the top of his head, silently strategizing as their king drifted back to sleep.

\- - - -

Three days later, Da Vinci made her way back to her laboratory after a surprise call to the Command Center. An hour prior, Chaldea staff reported an unscheduled Rayshift with no human signatures, only a powerful mana burst. Mash and her Master came as soon as they were summoned, mouths still full of chocolate from the Valentine’s Day festivities they had left behind. Unfortunately, the exact destination of the Rayshift was unclear from the data at hand, and instead of sending them on a potentially fruitless search Da Vinci shooed them out of the Command Center with orders to enjoy the party.

“Romani, for all your fumbling about, you had an intuition about these things sometimes,” she thought aloud, and sat back down at her desk, rubbing her temples gently. Last year on Valentine’s Day, there were far fewer Heroic Spirits in Chaldea, and the fate of their world still hung in limbo; now that the threat of Solomon was gone, Da Vinci supposed that she could relax and join in the festivities in her own way. As she leaned back in her chair and reached for her concealed cask of centuries-old Italian liquor, she noticed that the books she normally hid it behind were askew.

“Someone must be after my booze. I’ll have to find a better hiding place. Who would have snuck in here to read about the Roman conquest of Africa, anyway? They could have asked Nero or Caesar, for heaven’s sakes. Once those two start talking, it’s impossible to get them to stop.”

Da Vinci poured three fingers of liquor and took a long sip, sighing as the sweet tingle spread throughout her body. Just as she began to feel relaxed, the intercom in her laboratory chimed.

“Of course,” she sighed, pressing the communications button. “Observation Room 1, your report please.”

“There’s been another unscheduled Rayshift, Professor Da Vinci.”

“Is no one paying attention in there?” Da Vinci groaned. “How does this keep happening?”

“We left the room unattended for a few moments to get some refreshments from the party in the common room - who would have expected that during that time...“ The voice over the intercom trailed off with chagrin.

“Have you picked up any hostile signatures that came through the Rayshift?” Da Vinci didn’t need to wait for their answer; there was a rumbling in the hallway that was unlike the normal Chaldean clamor. She set down her glass, thanking and cursing the fact that she was only one sip in, and opened the door to see flowing white robes and long green hair turning the corner towards the living quarters.

“It can’t be,” she thought aloud, “Enkidu wouldn’t...could Kingu somehow have returned?” If that was the case, she had to let Gilgamesh know immediately, although the King of Uruk likely would have sensed their presence by the time she was able to alert him. Still, she followed Enkidu’s trail until she found Elisabeth Bathory and Kiyohime clutching each other in the hallway, wide-eyed and cowering.

“Were they chimeras?” Kiyohime whispered to Elisabeth, “I’ve never seen animals like that before!”

“I don’t know,” Elisabeth replied, “but I’m mega-freaked out by Enkidu! I tried to stop them and I totally thought they were going to kill me!”

Da Vinci paused. “What’s going on, ladies?”

“Enkidu came rushing through here followed by beasts...they were huge!” Kiyohime explained, “We were going to stop them before they attacked Master but...Enkidu was even more frightening than the beasts when we tried to attack!”

Da Vinci considered her options for a moment. “You two stay here. I’ll see what they’re up to.” As she continued towards Enkidu and Gilgamesh’s quarters, she thought of the information the research teams recently provided on the living Noble Phantasm: nothing was out of the ordinary and Enkidu appeared mentally and spiritually stable, with no signs of Kingu’s possession remaining. When she reached their door, Da Vinci paused, listening for any signs of trouble. If Kiyohime and Elisabeth’s story was true, there should be a much stronger mana signature than she could currently sense. As a Caster she was well attuned to fluctuations in mana, and a fellow Caster would expend a large amount of mana simply to defend himself.

The unnerving silence finally broke with a peal of Gilgamesh’s laughter, his amusement loud enough to be heard through the reinforced door. Da Vinci shook her head and sighed. Maybe she didn’t actually want to know what was happening, and if Enkidu got out of hand she was certain Gilgamesh could handle the situation himself. After all, it was clear since their time in Babylonia that the king of Uruk had power over his best friend that no other being in the universe could match.

\- - - -

“Enkidu,” Gilgamesh looked up from his book, “Where have you been? I heard them announce a Rayshift, were you summoned to accompany Master and...“ He trailed off in the middle of his thought, taking in the sight before him.

“I went on a brief journey,” Enkidu said, the corners of their mouth turning up with pride, “Do you know what day it is?”

Gilgamesh nodded. “It’s some kind of Western holiday, isn’t it? The mongrels have been eating sweets and playing frivolous games in the common area since morning.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Enkidu said, “a day that you give the person most special to you a present to prove your love for them. I thought for a while about what to get you, but considering you already own everything in the treasury of Babylon, traditional gifts wouldn’t do. So I got you these,” they said, tunic sleeves fluttering as they spread their arms wide.

One of the lions standing at Enkidu’s side yawned, and the other stalked towards Gilgamesh’s beckoning hand. The third knocked over the table in the front room and began sniffing the inside of an empty paper bag. Gilgamesh slowly surveyed the room and burst into laughter, holding his ribs and cackling until tears came to his eyes.

“You remember my affinity for these creatures,” Gilgamesh said after pausing to catch his breath. The lion rested its head on his knee and Gilgamesh stroked its mane, its powerful jaw moving against his thigh as it bared its teeth and growled contentedly.

“How could I forget?” Enkidu replied, sitting down next to Gilgamesh on the side not currently occupied by a lion. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Gilgamesh.”

“Thank you, Enkidu,” Gilgamesh said, leaning in to kiss Enkidu’s waiting mouth. “I can’t wait to see how Chaldea reacts to their majesty. Perhaps we shall fortify this facility with a whole pride of lions someday.” He deepened the kiss, free hand stroking Enkidu’s long green hair with the same tenderness he showed to the lion on his opposite flank. “I hate to admit it, but Chaldea feels more comfortable now.”

Enkidu cupped Gilgamesh’s face in their hands and whispered softly against his lips. “Home for me is wherever you are.”

“Gods, enough of that disgusting mongrel sentimentality,” Gilgamesh sighed, kissing Enkidu again. He eased the lion’s head from his thigh and pressed both hands against his friend’s shoulders, guiding Enkidu back against the stack of pillows at the head of the bed. “Let me show you a proper display of emotion.”

While Gilgamesh suckled on Enkidu’s collarbone and pushed their tunic halfway up their chest, Enkidu tried to ignore another thump from the front room. Perhaps next year, a smaller gift was in order. “We’ll deal with the room later,” Gilgamesh said, reading Enkidu’s thoughts, “I think I want to be on top today. Or do I only get lions for Valentine’s Day?”

“Lions are only for Valentine’s Day, but you can top any day you like,” Enkidu replied. “If that’s the case, though, I’ll be taking my pleasure first.” They caught Gilgamesh’s hands in their own, rolling him onto his side and slipping one hand up the slit on the side of his harem pants.

The lion remaining in the bedroom raised its head from the foot of the bed as it began to shake and shudder beneath its occupants’ motion, wandering into the front room to lie alongside its brethren against the heater with a low, indignant roar.

**Author's Note:**

> I really thought I’d be a huge fan of the Knights of the Round Table as I began to play through Camelot, but Sanzang and Touta came out of left field and stole my heart. 
> 
> For the last scene, there’s official artwork of Gilgamesh (Archer) with a lion resting its head on his leg - if you’ve seen it, picture that, but with CasGil.


End file.
